Are you too old to change?

scared to followDo you think you’re too OLD to change? That you’ve missed your chance, it’s too late now and you’d best settle for what you have, and give up your dreams?

When you wake up in the middle of the night and listen to the breathing – or the silence – next to you and wonder what your life would be like now if only you’d ….

left that “safe” job / relationship / small town and done what you REALLY wanted instead of what was expected or demanded of you or what you saw as your duty

do you just stuff it down and say – maybe a little complacently, but with a sob in your throat –

I probably wouldn’t have liked it / been happy / been any good at it / made a success of it anyway, so it’s just as well I stayed put”?

Is that how you soothe yourself for giving up on life before you’re dead?

For not being with your soulmate, your twin flame, the One you know is out there?
For getting through each day as best you can at the job you hate, hoping that retirement (if you make it that far) will be worth it?
For not seeing more, learning more, BEING more?
For settling for a life that was never yours in the first place?

Or did you try once – start a business, run to a new lover, leave town for a fresh start – and it didn’t work out how you expected?

And so you scuttled back into your shell, your safe cave, the jail you knew instead of the freedom you yearned for but which scared you shitless and told yourself
I tried. I failed. That’s it, I did my best and it didn’t work.“?

Did your best?
Really?

Lived the life you were born for?
Really??

Went all-in to make your dreams come true?
REALLY???

WhatEVER you’ve been or done, whatEVER has happened to you so far, NOTHING has to stop you living your best life now – unless you CHOOSE to let it.

Yes I know all the excuses, I’ve made them myself. I can give you the list – choose as many as you want:

I’m not clever enough / not good enough / don’t know enough / not ready / don’t have a plan / don’t know how
I’m needed here / it’s my duty to stay / my family would be upset / my family would laugh at me / my friends would abandon me
I’m scared / I’m uncomfortable / I don’t like change / I’m nothing special / I have nothing to offer
I’ll lose everything / what if I fail? / what if I’m not happy? (are you happy now? Just asking)
I’m too old / not good-looking enough / past it / too tired / too afraid
Add your excuse here

The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
~ Rumi

Look at your list, at the excuses you hold so dear to your heart
Look closely.
Is any single item on there actually, objectively TRUE?
Or every one just a belief, a choice that you made to keep you stuck where you are?

Comfortable

Safe

Crying silently in the night for what could have been

Promising yourself – in your lowest, most lonely, most miserable moments – that you can still make something of your life, you can start tomorrow, there’s still time, it’s not too late.

I have news for you.
Sure I know the saying and I’ve even used it
It’s never too late to be who you might have been.

Only one problem with it.

One day it WILL be too late.

And for you / me / us –
One day is getting closer and closer

We’re not 25 with most of our life before us.
We’re 50+, with most of it behind us
And we’re running out of time
And health
And energy
And the will to change

So .. if not now, then excuse me but WHEN the FUCK are you going to do it?
Tomorrow?
Next month?
When it’s warmer / colder
When you FEEL like it?
It’ll happen – when you’re ready –
Just not yet, right?

And for how many YEARS have you been telling yourself that story – that LIE?

Here’s your choice and I make no apologies that it’s a stark, scary one.

Act NOW, TODAY, ready or not, FEEL like it or not –
Or die with your light and your music still in you, knowing that you wasted all those years, just because you were afraid of something that wasn’t even REAL

Because you and I KNOW that if you don’t act right NOW, you never will
Just like you never have so far

Wake up – or go back to sleep forever.
Your choice.

If you’re ready to wake up and LIVE and you want someone to help you decide what YOUR best life is, someone who will totally and unconditionally believe in it and you and lovingly kick your ass towards it …

Because, let’s face it, if you were going to do it on your own – you’d have done it by now

You know where I am, sweetheart – right here, waiting for you.

Don’t go back to sleep.

Email: isobel@isobelphillips.com
Messenger: My Facebook page
Skype: isobel.phillips

All my love,
Always

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12 Responses to “Are you too old to change?”

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  1. Martha says:

    What great advice! Hubby and I have been talking about a change, but we keep saying we’re “too old”. We have owned our business for over 50 years and with his declining health, I think it’s time to think of a change, a change for the good. We need to do it before it’s too late!

    • Isobel says:

      Yes, better to do it while you have the choice and not wait until you’re forced to. Change is always going to be a bit scary because it’s outside our current comfort zone – once you’ve accepted that, it gets easier ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Nona says:

    I’ve got two kids counting on me to keep them fed and keep a roof over their head. The time for me leaving “safe” behind to risk it all for something that would make me happy is behind me.

    • Isobel says:

      Well that’s a story you’re absolutely entitled to tell yourself, Nona. But how safe is “safe”, really? Every day that someone else has control over what you do and how much you earn, are you not risking it all anyway? You could lose it all on their whim.
      If you felt you had the choice to do anything you wanted, what would you be doing?

  3. Paul Taubman says:

    Change is always happening. Change is to be embraced and not fought. Change in inevitable.

    Trying to resist it becomes a losing battle.

    Thanks.

    • Isobel says:

      I agree Paul, but I’d bet the majority would fight harder to keep what they have than they would to go after what they really want. Fear of loss is a powerful demotivator.

  4. Sumudu says:

    I recently turned 50.

    I do not think one is too old for changes. What is age anyway? It is but a number that tells you how many journeys around the sun you have taken. If the mind is strong, then the body is strong. Today I completed my fourth day ut in the yard shifting rocks – at my age!

    • Isobel says:

      It comes down really to the meaning you give to anything, doesn’t it? “Age” is just one variable but rarely the most significant one. Well done on the yard work! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Nichole says:

    I agree. Change is always happening. George Eliot said that is never too late to be who you were meant to be.

    • Isobel says:

      I used to love that quote of Eliot’s but there is a trap there – it makes us think we have plenty of time and so we can put off our dreams indefinitely. The reality is that it IS going to be too late one day ๐Ÿ™ Jim Rohn said we can live with the pain of discipline or the pain of regret … that had an impact on me.

  6. Alice Gerard says:

    When I turned 50, I decided that I had reached the use it or lose it age. I chose to use it, instead of lose it. I’ve walked many miles with groups. The longest walk that I took was 500 miles over seven weeks. I’m hoping to walk the Appalachian Trail in two years. Life is an adventure and change is just a part of life.

    • Isobel says:

      50 was a break-point for me too – when it dawned on me I was more than half-way through my life! Your walks sound amazing!

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