Do Friends & Family Interfere in Your Relationship?

Friends and family will always take sides.

Friends and family will always take sides.

“But you said you were sick of him and ready to walk out! Why are you giving him another chance? Nothing’s going to change, you know!”

It’s great to have friends and family to talk to when you’re angry or frustrated with your man, but when all they hear from you are complaints about him, you can’t blame them for taking your side and encouraging you to give him an ultimatum or leave.

So when you decide to give things another shot and commit to really working on your relationship, not only are they not going to understand why, they’ll probably feel confused and deceived and actively discourage you.

Now you feel torn between him and them, plus they’re not interested in listening to your successes when things start to turn around, especially if their own relationships aren’t going well. You feel ignored and abandoned by your “support team” and may even feel it’s not worth trying to make a go of your relationship if you lose your friends in the process.

If you’ve realised that you really don’t want to lose him and decided to give him and your relationship one last chance, get your friends on your side and enlist their support by first understanding why they feel as they do. Then give this 3-step process a try:

1) Tell them how much you appreciate them for having your back all this time and listening to you when you needed a shoulder to cry on.
2) Let them know you understand why they’re concerned and that although you still don’t know how things are going to turn out, you really want to give this your best shot.
3) Reassure them you still need them and ask them to help you focus on any positive changes as your relationship improves.

Then make the decision never to complain about him to friends or family again, as long as you’re in the relationship and committed to making it work.

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” ~ Richard Bach

Have you had the experience of friends or family encouraging you to leave your relationship? How did you handle it? Share with us in the comments ๐Ÿ™‚

2 Responses to “Do Friends & Family Interfere in Your Relationship?”

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  1. Very true – I made that mistake quite often during my exciting younger years when I was in and out of marriages and relationships. As a settled married woman now in a happy 14 year old marriage, our maturity seems to have transformed us both into people who do not fall out. We appreciate each other and just don’t have those devastating relationships battles we all have when we are younger and finding out who we are. But if I was in that situation now, I would limit my moaning and complaining during the difficult times to one trusted friend who would stick by me whatever I decided to do. I have a friend who is a very young 72 and has been in a turbulent relationship for 20 plus years. I just listen to her through the good and bad times. I laugh and cry with her but never make any judgement on what she is doing with him. She NEVER tells her family anything.

    • Isobel says:

      I think you’re very wise to listen and empathise and not make judgements – it can be hard though, I’ve had to bite my tongue hard a few times with friends, for sure!

      It’s wonderful to have one trusted friend we can vent to who won’t throw what we tell her back in our face later. Your friend is lucky to have you ๐Ÿ™‚

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