Got what you deserve?

deserving abundanceI noticed today that recently I’ve allowed far more abundance into my life, from actual cash flow to gifts, upgrades and discounts that I had no reason to expect.

It got me thinking about why abundance flows easily to some people and not to others and even about the saying “money goes to money“, which is true more often than not. Then there’s the flipside of people suddenly receiving a large sum of money (from a lottery win for example) and having nothing left of it a few years later.

I can remember my parents saying things like “people like us don’t have money – but we’re happy” as if the two were mutually exclusive, or at least that’s how I picked it up. I grew up with the desire for wealth but the EXPECTATION that “people like us” would never have it, or if we did it came with a price I wasn’t prepared to pay. The result was that however much I earned or attracted I always ended up deeper in debt, even to the point of losing my house at one point and having to live with my dog in one room above my boyfriend’s pub.

Now .. I’m debt-free, I live in a lovely apartment with a view of the Red Sea and Jordan and an olive tree in my garden, I work pretty much when I choose and I have a supportive, uplifting circle of friends. I’m not doing this perfectly yet; “savings” are still something of an unknown concept – although not as much as they were – and I’m not shopping in top designer stores, but my standard of living and quality of life are hugely improved (even with the recent drop in the value of the pound!)

What changed is quite simply – I started to believe that I DESERVE to receive more. And not because I’ve DONE anything specific or “more deserving”, but because I opened to the possibility that more is available to me and aligned with it.

I can only receive what I allow – sounds kind of obvious, right? I can’t receive anything if at the same time I’m pushing it away. And I only ALLOW what I believe is mine by right, because I DESERVE it.

Most of us have no problem accepting a salary or payment for work done. We’ve worked for it, so on the face of it we deserve it – surely there’s no conflict there? But going deeper, do we actually ALLOW it into our lives or is it all spent before we get it, for all the world as if we ARE pushing it away? And it’s really not about how much we earn; even when I was earning more than twice the average salary, I was STILL going deeper into debt.

Money is a Feeling

 
Years ago, someone pointed out that my financial situation is tied firmly to my emotional state. Intellectually that made sense (I binge-spent when I didn’t feel heard or when my relationship was going badly) but there was a deeper implication that I didn’t see. When I was unhappy, acknowledged or not, I didn’t feel I deserved nice things or a better standard of living. I would buy loads of cheap crap rather than one beautiful item because I had to surround myself with “stuff” to give me any sense of worth, and the more “stuff” I had the more worthy I must be. Except obviously I didn’t believe that either because the stuff kept growing but I didn’t feel any better or worthier!

When I moved here, I could afford to ship just 300 cu.ft of my belongings. Luckily I have a minimalist sister who delights in throwing stuff away – especially MY stuff! I actually cried over the books I had to give away, even though most of them had been on my bookshelves for years but were still unread. And I remember arguing with her over the clothes now 4 sizes too small and many still with their price tags on, that I was SURE I’d wear some day.

Arriving here with only the basics was strangely freeing; I could be anyone now I wasn’t held captive by the trappings of a previous life. And I had to re-examine my “worthiness” now it wasn’t measured by the volume of my possessions (I only made that connection today – I am after all a work-in-progress).

We can only receive what we allow and we only allow what we believe we deserve.

The Beliefs that Trap Us

 
But we’ve trapped ourselves into believing that Worth equals Struggle or at the very least, Bloody Hard Work. We feel guilty if someone pays us even a compliment that we didn’t “work” for: “Oh, this? It was only £2 in Primark” (unsaid: “because that’s all I deserve and God forbid you should think I spent more than that on myself“).

What if, just for the hell of it, you chose to believe that what you allow yourself to receive has no connection with the work you do or the effort you put in? What if you chose to be deserving of abundance ANYWAY?

(After all, it’s not as if there IS a real connection; those who make the greatest contribution or work the hardest – nurses and teachers, for example – and who on the face of it are the most “deserving” are often those who receive the least. So why do we keep up the pretense?)

What beliefs do you hold that are standing in the way of that?

How much do you think YOU deserve? (hint: look at your bank account. The answer is staring you in the face …)

Here are some affirmations from my journal recently about abundance. I write them fresh every day because we never get it done.

I choose to believe that I deserve and am worthy of financial freedom
I choose to believe that financial freedom is possible for me
I choose to align myself with a higher standard of living
I choose to align myself with more money and abundance (be specific: how much money? what type of abundance?)
I choose to align myself with releasing fear and resistance towards receiving and allowing
I choose to allow an abundance of money and love into my life
I choose to allow myself to live a luxurious lifestyle
$X,000 per month flows easily to me while I do only what I love and that excites me
I choose to believe I am fully aligned with the life I want (again, be specific: what does that life entail)
I choose to believe that I am NOW living the life that inspires, excites and fulfills me

Comments, questions, need help formulating your own affirmations? Comment below or contact me at isobel@isobelphillips.com for a personal response.

2 Responses to “Got what you deserve?”

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  1. Eydie says:

    I love your affirmations and I agree with all that you’ve said. I guess I have to try harder to believe that I deserve to have money flow to me. So often I think about other people not being able to afford my services and I discount them – but, in the meantime, I can’t afford services that I need. Thanks for your post today. Food for thought.

    • Isobel says:

      Consider this perspective: if you discount your services so people can afford them, you’re discouraging them from aligning themselves with the abundance they’d need to afford you at the level you should be charging. You’re encouraging them to stay small, plus you’re devaluing yourself. Just another viewpoint 🙂

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