Another one that isn’t quite what it seems …
Dr Karl Pillemer, Cornell professor of human development, interviewed 700 people, married on average 43 years, including long-term same-sex couples. His book “30 Lessons for Loving” contains advice from the wisest Americans on love, relationships and marriage.
He suggests that before you get serious, watch your partner participate in a group game to see how they handle winning or losing. Are they gracious losers or angry sulkers? Do they gloat or congratulate the losers for putting up a good fight? You get a good sense of someone’s personality by the way they play competitive games.
If your partner plays video games, it can feel comforting that he’s at home and not out in a bar or playing golf. There’s nothing wrong with a partner needing space and personal time. But if he spends most of his free time gaming, it can feel as you’ve been abandoned. One answer may be to start playing sometimes yourself, especially if you ask him to teach you.
Tony Robbins identifies six human needs, the first four of which we need to have satisfied daily: certainty, uncertainty, love/connection, significance, growth and contribution. Which needs might he be meeting by gaming?