What keeps you stuck where you are?
It’s not that you CAN’T change, is it? You have plenty of proof already from your life that change is perfectly possible for you. After all, you’re not the same person you were as a child or a teenager!
If you have kids you’re almost certainly not the same person you were before you had them, you have different priorities, you make different choices. If you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re not living the same life you did as a single woman. If you’ve come through a serious illness, it’s probably changed your perspective on health and how you treat your body.
I got a wake-up call the day I lay curled up in child’s pose on my bed because that was the only relief I got from an agonising pain in my hip (caused, I later discovered, by a trapped nerve). Being unable to move freely shocked me into starting to take better care of my body.
Some changes seem to happen naturally and easily, have you noticed? Whereas others that you really, REALLY want to make, like losing weight for that special occasion, are a struggle against yourself every day.
What are you lacking?
What from this list do you resonate with (and it may well be more than one, or even ALL of them)?
Lack of clarity – not really knowing what you want, just a vague, fuzzy idea of a different kind of life (“more money”, “slimmer”, “a new man”)
Lack of passion – not wanting it enough, not feeling excited or inspired by it, something you feel you “should” want but you don’t, really
Lack of patience – giving up too soon, wanting the instant gratification rather than trusting yourself to claim the real outcome, however long it takes
Lack of confidence – believing that it’s “not for people like me”, that you don’t deserve it. Not trusting yourself to follow-through
Lack of a “plan” – wanting to know every step along the way before you start, instead of just the next one
Lack of “time” – not making time and space for it in your life and wondering why other people manage to fit in so much more
The hidden issues
Often those surface issues are driven by something deeper, such as:
Fear of making the wrong decision – making a clear choice means giving up other options, so you’re afraid to commit to anything and doing nothing seems safer than getting it wrong
Being too invested in a certain path (or person) and unwilling to give it up, even though it’s not moving you in the direction you want to go and actually proving to be a disaster
Clinging to victimhood – if you’ve been badly hurt, abused or traumatised, you may feel that you’re “owed” something or that you deserve to be “rescued” and by being successful or happy that you’ll appear to have got over it, so letting someone else off the hook. This one can be insidious – I found it in myself and it truly shocked me. YEARS after a particular incident, I was still angry about it and resisting success as a kind of punishment to those I felt had let me down. Of course the only person I was punishing was myself and I knew it, but “victim” was a tough role to give up, it absolved me from so much!
So what’s stopping you? What are you giving up your life for? Because make no mistake, you’re giving up your life for SOMETHING every second you continue to breathe! Is it for what truly matters to you, for the way you truly WANT to live? And if not, what are you going to do about it? Post in the comments below or message me on my Facebook page for a personal response.
Coming up next: 7 Small Steps to Make Big Changes in Your Life